Last night my sister and I were taking care of Mother and she had us laughing so hard that I was crying. These are precious moments that if she were not here I would have missed a real blessing.
Recently I was asked how I could lift Mother from the wheelchair to the bed without hurting myself. Truthfully it is just something that you do. Caring for a loved one under Hospice is hard work and a real commitment but also a privilege.
As the primary caregiver of a terminally ill patient I thought I would share a few points for consideration if you know anyone under Hospice care.
If you visit someone that is under Hospice and say "Call me if there is anything I can do for you" I can almost promise you that you will never be called. I have heard that several times, and tonight was the first time I broke down and asked for help. We got a call late tonight from Ashley saying that it is time to put her eleven and one half year old dog down. Ashley will be a vet in less then two months and we all knew this was coming, but Murphie is her baby, and she is our baby, so we will leave Mother tomorrow with my sister while we travel to be with Ashley during this time.
Now if someone tells me "I have a couple of hours available on Tuesday, and would like to sit with your Mom while you take a break" my heart would just melt.
The other thing is if you know someone that is homebound/terminal try to visit them early in their illness. The last few days my dad was really sick there was a constant flow of people in and out of the house. At that point the visits were for the family and not the patient.
I thank God for a wonderful hubby that has agreed to this, family I can call on for help, and for the opportunity to share this time with my Mom. Hang on Ashley we will be there soon.
3 comments:
Dinia,
I have always heard, "Don't ask what you can do, just do something." Ｉ have tried to live by that when friends have things in their lives, I just try to do something, even if it's not the thing they need the very most, it's something.
Also, I have been seeing in so many situations lately that God cares for our little needs as well as our big ones. He knows that YOU need someone to come and spend some time with your mama on Tuesday and I am going to pray that He sends that person just so you can feel His love for YOU in this.
Dinia,
Your comments are very heartwarming. I was especially pleased to hear you say you laughed until you cried. What a precious gift for each of you.
An old frined of mine asked me to write her life story shortly before she entered Hospice. It was my chance to say good-bye to her.
If you can, please consider using a tape recorder or digital recording device to capture some of your conversations with your Mom. Later, you may decide to write more about the process, which can be cathartic and also helpful to other people.
If/when you are ready for some other suggestions, please look at my blog. This is such an emotional time for the family that I send you my hopes and prayers to help you cope.
Beth LaMie
http://onestoryatatime.blogspot.com
Dinia - I'm so glad that you have this time with your Mom (I'm just catching up after Disney and various things in our life). She sounds like such a fabulous lady. Of course she is .. look at you .. how could she not be?
I've recently learned that my grandfather's wife, whom I think of as my grandmother, is terminally ill with cancer (1-3 months to live). I'm at a loss as to what to do. Both my grandfather and his wife are so dear to me.
I teared up thinking about Ashley's loss. Blake, my Boxer, is my best friend ever (no offense to Nathan :) and I consider him just like Mary Poppins, "practically perfect in every way". :) When it's his time to go, I will need all hands on deck to comfort me as well.
Please give the biggest hug ever to Ashley. No one will replace Murphie but she will find another to love. I know that from experience that this is true.
My love to you and Ron ... you are both in my prayers ... Tamara
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